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09/25/2003
hi. so, what is new? anything? well...after i left here yesterday i went home and took a nice, long shower. i then put on jeans and a t and some old chucks and went for a walk. i skipped my smoothie (for 2 weeks i have been alternating nights for smoothies)...i should talk about the smoothie...my body has not felt this good in years...no shit..the smoothie is where it is at. so...instead of smoothie i went in the other direction and picked up chipotle...i know, nasty food. for the most part i have given up fast food. i dont eat at wendys and well...i really miss sheets but i have been doing ok without all that crap. i also have developed an affection for the caramel drink at starbucks, suddenly my drinks cost near 5.00 with zero alcohol. ok...so i went for my walk and it was fantastic. i met a few people that inquired about my t-shirt. "who is curry? who is calahan?" i explained that it was a war of the families in parma ohio back in '88. i also bumped into a friend of mine..damion...was cool to see him. even cooler when i found out that he lives in lakewood. he has lived here a year longer than me. i have seen him at shows, at the bar, and never bothered to ask where he lives. a couple years back i kicked his ass in bowling...actually...that was the last time that i bowled. eventually i made it home. i worked on some poems and finished my resume, which is now out and about to prospective employers. i took another shower and prepped for work. at 8 meghan came over. i think that is the first time i have said her name here since she broke up with me. anyways, she came to get her stuff. my hands were so sweaty. i was scared. i shut the tv off at 7 and thought about everything. my emotions were high. so for about the first 20 minutes she was over i was shitty to her. really shitty. then i decided to remove the wall that i had set up. we talked, it was good..no, it was better than good. i gave her a box for her stuff. she took her posters back...that actually bummed me out. one of the posters that i had on loan was from last october when we saw imperial teen at the grog. it was our first show at the grog since we met at gbv. it was also a tough weekend for meghan. and it was game 7 of the world series. i think we also saw the cousins at that show. in a way that night was a centerpiece to the support of our relationship...sad to see it go. sad if i lost it. anyways, the night ended on a good note. i hate saying this but i wont close the door on her...maybe way down the road but i still believe that we are supposed to be together...its so incredibly weird. i keep wanting to read her blog but i am scared...why? who knows. i want to know about her horses and all that stuff. i can remember just listening to her telling me stuff and me nodding and taking it all in... these enteries keep getting longer. sad if i lost it...today i am going to listen to mag earwhig.. ok...after she left i called sloop. i mean that second...he was incredible...he told me about when him and katie broke up and watching her go...he was so real...i value him. i watched her...it was sad, really sad. he talked with me right up until she drove away. a few minutes later i was over toms. he has been so cool about everything. we talked about stuff and the plethora of shows at the grog in roctober...weakerthans, broadcast, enon, quintron, gorkys...rocotber is going to be nuts. not to mention the polyphonic spree...holy crap...just go and see them...i have a feeling it will be one of those shows talked about for a long time to come. around 11 we went to the 5 o'clock. my fingers are starting to hurt. i had a couple beers. its so bizarre...all of this is so bizarre. i was home and sleeping around 12:30. today i worked. i wrote a ploy on friendster and so far 2 friends have replied without the goods. and now its close to 4 and i guess thats really it. i have a feeling i will start doing sideveiws on the weekends...yep 7 days a week. oh...listen to bs2000. � 
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