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02/23/2004
i don't really know what to write here anymore. i might kill off sideview or just go back to doing journals at home. so, my weekend. well, it was far better than last. then again anything was better than last. i watched seinfelds comedian, i recommend that to all. i also watched a lot of simpsons. last night i hung out with kid spark. we went and saw the dreamers. lots of tomato, lots of pickle. however, the vegetables did not take away from the movie. been thinking lots about the film today. i have grown up in such safe times. at least safe here. i have never had sex with a twin. wonder if i ever will. after i got home all my feelings of down returned. i had trouble sleeping. be it work, relationship, what happens next...just really feel bogged by it all. i am happy that i made it into work. i was worried that it wouldn't happen. its hard to motivate. so hard to motivate. all i can think of today is pancakes, syrup and how i wish i could cuddle. not the pancakes or the syrup...granted if those become my options {currently i have no options} i would take the pancake, at least i could roll it like a blanket. as for the rest of this week...i am not looking forward to it. i don't have anything going on. i keep thinking that in just over a month i will have baseball, yet even that seems a lifetime away. double fuck. � 
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