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10/22/2004
last night i had an intervention of sorts. i realized after getting yelled at and talked to by a bunch of friends that i need to take my life back. i was totally minipulated for a long time. hell, i am still getting manipulated. it really bothers me that 2 months ago i met a girl that i actually liked. the funny thing is that when my ex caught wind of this she showed up at my door. next thing i know we are having sex. i end up calling things off with the girl that i like. a girl who was honest, kind and supportive. two days after that the ex breaks things with me again. this was a trend of sorts for a long time. for some reason she feels that whenever my friends see her out that i am supposed to be notfied. because of her i started seeing a therapist and i started taking medication. its truly bizarre how happy i become after a few days of zero interaction. it really sucks how tragic i become after i get an email about how she suddenly is in love.
i am tony meda. somewhere along the line i lost track of that. i hate making excuses, but i also hate that i have become a piece of shit asshole because one person has an amazing controlling nature on me. � |