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10/22/2004

last night i had an intervention of sorts. i realized after getting yelled at and talked to by a bunch of friends that i need to take my life back.

i was totally minipulated for a long time. hell, i am still getting manipulated.

it really bothers me that 2 months ago i met a girl that i actually liked. the funny thing is that when my ex caught wind of this she showed up at my door. next thing i know we are having sex. i end up calling things off with the girl that i like. a girl who was honest, kind and supportive. two days after that the ex breaks things with me again.

this was a trend of sorts for a long time. for some reason she feels that whenever my friends see her out that i am supposed to be notfied. because of her i started seeing a therapist and i started taking medication.

its truly bizarre how happy i become after a few days of zero interaction. it really sucks how tragic i become after i get an email about how she suddenly is in love.


anyways, friends from near and far got on me last night and told me to focus on the good. first off, go see gbv. secondly, the girl that i met two weeks ago...dont bail on that.

i am tony meda.

somewhere along the line i lost track of that. i hate making excuses, but i also hate that i have become a piece of shit asshole because one person has an amazing controlling nature on me.


 

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